The truth really does hurt.

Ive been walking around all my life trying to please but never really understood why!

After deep thought about this issue I now have gained the ability to be myself and not have that need to please. The need to please is also linked to the fear of hurting.

It all stems from childhood, it seemed my only encouragement was when I was pleasing. If I drew a good picture I got rewarded with attention. If I wrote a computer program that had flashing text I received praise.

I got hooked on the attention.

But hey we all love a bit of attention, it gives us a feeling of self-worth. Right?

Well lets look at the dangers of this:

You could start ignoring your priorities as you are caught up in the need to please.

You will find it difficult to say no.

THE NEED TO PLEASE IS THE SAME AS THE FEAR OF HURTING.

you may have the need to please as a result of the fear of hurting.

You may have been hurt in the past so you are caught up in the fear of giving someone else that pain.

or get this you may have such a fear hurting someone that you ignore your actions and end up hurting as a result.

It gets worse! You might hurt someone and ignore the fact that you hurt them because the realisation that you have hurt someone will hurt you.

Big problem here is if you have the fear of hurting and the need to please you will open yourself up to ABUSE. I have met some really manipulative people in my time and BOY can they be mean.

How can I be opened up to ABUSE if i HAVE THE NEED TO PLEASE AND THE FEAR OF HURTING.

Have you ever had a friend that continuously asks you to things AND YOU CAN NOT SAY NO?

Is that person really a friend?

This is a difficult one. Because someone may actually need you? They may genuinely need your help but have not got anyone else!

So what do you do?

You help them to help themselves! This is something that I learned at work its called self sufficiency.

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My life......

Well Ive been on one intense emotional rollacoaster. Relationships. Family and personal issues, house issues, finance, ....its been hard..

Thats the reason for holding back on the diary entries. Now Im back Stronger than before. I gave up smoking at the right time. It gave me the strength that I needed to counteract the possible negative whiplash from some of the personal issues that I have encountered.

I NEED A HOLIDAY. AND I NEED IT SOON. My work is ending I have a house to decorate and rooms to rent out I feel exhausted. I don't have an ounce of strength for my own leisure time. KNACKERED.

Intense hard work. Trying to secure my future. Business preparation for life you name it.. Ive made my life into a progression. Its weird that I havent had a day to my self for sooo long.

There is sooo much in my life that is good but there is also soo much that needs looking at.

LIFE SHOULD BE A CONTINUOUS RE-ASSESSMENT- As I said once I shed my skin every 6 months......

THAT TIME IS COMING AGAIN...........

Here we go again....life change time...

My health has improved.. I got myself down to the doctors.

I have registered more domain names and now have a healthy supply of names that should hold fast for the future.

Well done me....but hey I still am not satisfied...I still find it hard to relax. i am chilling out I can feel it. But something. underlying still questions my psyche.

I have always had calling to parts of the world. Thailand is one of them

I have a friend called Georgie that may start a travelling diary on Zak.net. where she documents her diary. Excellent. I hope this happens.

Health is the most important thing...but aquiring the correct level of understanding and knowledge is the game. Analysing the old and seeing where they have gone wrong I am now in a possition where I feel I know what I want.a

I want to write a book. A final story. About the times I have lived, the mistakes I have made and why I made then. Focusing on Belief. is my quest.

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Music progression

Well ive been buying music on a regular basis...

Mixing is quite difficult. But I enjoy it. Listening to other peoples mixes really appeals to me. I have learnt a hell of a lot. I'll post some MP3 tunes here in the future.

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Life Status.

Im leaving my future in the hands of the universe. I have my house that I am beginging to love, throughout the hard work it is good.

Feeling a little unorganised and feel that I have to emphasis on my priorities.

The need to please is ending. the truth is coming. the fear of hurting is ending as I know what hurt is. I will speak what is true to myself.

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Love is life

How can you love if you don't know how to love?

What if your love that you received what conditional?

How can you love if you fear being hurt?

What is love but the connection trust?

What is love?

Love is life!

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What are priorities?

Priorities are what you should do first.

What if you don't do your priorities?

you fall behind!

Do what you have to do with out pleasing.

Be yourself and others have no choice but to accept you.

Be yourself.....Speak the truth.....There is no need to please. .....Do your priorities first no matter how long it takes.