I awoke from a reality that I feel I shouldn't have been in, a reality where my desires became reality. A reality where all my needs were being met. A reality where my emotions and thoughts are fully understood. A reality where my future is secure. Where the hand of hope waved goodbye as I winked at a smile of belief. Physically I ignored my callings I denigned my pains as the struggle of reaching contentment outweighed the most basic cries of my body.

Im standing feeling the wounds of past that have inflicted scares on my shell. The recovery is coming. My belief has got me to where I am now. I believe in health.

My worries and my troubles have now been replaced by tasks and realisations. With the fears that once commanded my life now safely expelled from my mind, I query the outcome of the present day, by distancing my mind and my influences. Gone are the days where my actions I fear. Gone are the days where everyone of my actions, needed the confirmation of others. Gone are the days where advice recieved is discounted, and sent to the vaults of questioning.

I see with out fear, my boundries have been layed. Others who stray outside the boundries of my life are not to be ridiculed, but mearly observed, with caution. Never again will I condeme a friend for their beliefs. ADVOCATING THE ALTERNATIVE. is the only option.

I try several routes of life, based on stability, fun, security, friends, family. Its not down to possession, self-induced status. It is all peace of mind. peace of soul and peace of intention.

The change is coming. I can feel it. All my decisions about life are   planted into the infinite array of my mind. Only to manifest itself  in the appropriate time.

With fear you desire the fear. You focus on the fear, your mind interprets the focusing as an important part of your thought pattens. As many do not question their fears, they often don't realise that the fear becomes a WANT. as the mind sees the importance and sees the VISION. then plants the weeds into the crop of your existance.

If you don't like something about yourself, change yourself, analyse why you do what you do. What in the past caused you to act the way you are. Is you life mearly a shadow of your real ambitions. Will you wake up too late and say I WISH. Never feel it is too late.

Avoid sacrificing things for others. Its not necessary...STRIKE THAT COMPROMISE. hitting that unity of the unsaid is a beautiful thing. I used to ask a million questions and analyse a million face expressions as my quest for right and wrong clouded my actions.

IT IS TIME TO MAKE THAT DECISION.

To change is simply to make a decision.

You see, it is very easy just do what you need to do to get to where you want to go!..

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?

ARE YOUR BOUNDRIES BASED ON FEAR.

REMEMBER FEAR IS THE DOOR. YOU ARE THE KEY.

STILL HAVEN'T SMOKED FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS....SLOW RECOVERY....LIFE CHANGE IS A HAPPENING.........................

My self belief is my guiding force. Me. Im guiding myself. I know where I am going wrong. I know what indugences are sacrificing parts of my real needs and corrupting my desires. But all with a pinch of salt. Realty is to be played with to but not destroyed. As it can be destroyed. you can live in a bubble of reality or you can live in a shell of denial...which is mearly realty waiting at your doorstep..DO YOU HEAR ME. it cries.

When you do something wrong.....why are you doing it wrong?

I am beginging to abolish the NEED TO PLEASE. the need TO IMPRESS the NEED FOR ATTENTION. In fact it has gone.

I now do what I want based on how I feel. If I want to dance like an absolute maniac I will. If I want to chill on a bed of nails I will. If I want to disapear I will.. Great ...what next.....im now in a realm of understanding that I have never had. Problems are all gone. There are difficult tasks ahead...but really Im not building rome...Ive got the rest of my life...its not about sorting it out...its all about living....EASY....AND RESPECTFULLY.

Create your own boundries...live in them respect others

Do not Harm.....play as much as you want...

Be strong....eat well...sleep when the body calls. Don't over work yourself...

Don't get caught in traps....avoid the fire of desire...

Be happy...Be yourself..Be content...

Buy new "reality-self" the new improved formula with extra spects of belief to wash those grey clouds away.......

Peace with the mind as the calm of the oceans laughs at the hurricanes of the skies.

Zakareedoodaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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